All Hail West Texas

The Mountain Goats

5/30/2023

I didn't really even like The Mountain Goats, until I listened to the "I Only Listen to The Mountain Goats" podcast. And now I not only have a new favorite album, but also a new way of loving media. I won't spoil the podcast for you too much (because I highly recommend listening to it) but the long and short of it is this: while John Darnielle’s wife was at a hockey intensive and he was training to become a nurse, he recorded these songs into a boombox. On first blush (and to my uneducated ear, the first time I listened to them) the songs are similar. The only sounds are Darnielle’s voice, the acoustic guitar, and the soft hum of the reels, recording.

When I finished the album I turned on the podcast. And I was hooked.

Darnielle and his interviewer, Joseph Fink, connect over each song in a spectacularly human way. The conversation flows like a river. They are realistic about their successes, but prefer to talk about people they’ve met, Darnielle’s studies in religion, and Fink’s work on two podcasts. Listening to Darnielle talk made me realize I want to be a better person, and it’s not about what I think anybody deserves or if it will save me. I want to be a good person because I value kindness and want to see more of it in the world.

And looking at the songs now I can see in them these through lines, people reaching out to each other during the worst times in their lives and finding not salvation or damnation but someone else, looking back at them. I can search every song in this list and pick out a line or two that hits like a punch to the gut, whether it’s about child incarceration or being in a shitty relationship.

And even crazier than the beauty of this album is its re-release in 2013, which includes some of my favorite songs even without the extra knowledge of the podcast. I have Hardpan Song/Answering the Phone (Hardpan is essentially an opening bridge to Answering, to me) beaten into my head like a well-trafficked trail in a forest. There’s a Warrior Cats animated music video that plays in my head whenever I listen to Indonesia. If I think about the lyrics to Midland too hard I’ll just start crying.

I don’t know if this album just came at a particularly important time in my life. I listened to it (and the podcast) the year after I graduated college just as the importance of this next phase of my life was dawning on me. I knew who I wanted to be. It’s a little bit funny and a little bit sad to come back to it now. I’ve certainly matured a lot. I understand the frames and reasoning behind Darnielle’s words. But, God, I’m so tired. I’ve changed. Am I better? What do I need? Do I even know? A little bit of water? A little bit of sunlight? A little bit of tender mercy?